The Holy Family: A Model of Family Life

Mary and Joseph provide us a model for our own families. First, they show us how to entrust our children to God. When Jesus was an infant, Mary and Joseph took him to the temple to present Him to God. There, Mary offered her child to God’s service and then put her complete trust in God to carry them through whatever plans He had for their family. This is a powerful image for every family. Your family is a gift from God; He has entrusted them to your care. Your great vocation in life is to love them, guide them, and help get each other to Heaven. How do you do this? Like Mary and Joseph, the greatest thing you can do for your children is to then entrust them completely to God.

Second, Mary is a great model of the unconditional love of a mother. In difficult moments, from giving birth in a stable, to fleeing to Egypt, to losing Jesus in the temple, Mary treasured her child in her heart. She loved Him without counting the cost. Though it pierced her to the heart, she followed Him right to the foot of the cross. Even there, in the darkest moment, she was with Him as His mother.

Third, St. Joseph is a great model for fatherhood. He was a quiet, humble, just and upright man. No words are recorded of him in the Bible, but his actions speak loudly. When the angel Gabriel appeared to him, his one concern was to do the will of God and so he took Mary as his wife. Once married, his purpose in life to was to care for, provide for, and protect her and Jesus. He left everything he ever knew in order to guide them to safety in Egypt away from Herod when he ordered the slaughter of the Holy Innocents. He left behind his hometown of Bethlehem for Nazareth out of concern for their safety. His first concern in life was to do the will of God and his second (close behind) was to care for and protect his wife and foster son Jesus.

Mary, Our Protector

Consecrating ourselves to the Holy Family invokes their protection on our families, but Mary has a special role in all of this.

Wearing a Scapular

When I was a little kid, my great great aunt (a feisty but very pious Italian woman from North Boston) used to tell me about her scapular. Because she was from Boston, I never realized there was an “r” at the end of that word and thought she was saying, “spatula.” Nevertheless, her stories impressed me. She told me about how she went in for surgery one day and her last words to the doctors were, “Don’t you dare touch my scapular!” Mary had promised her protection on those who wore it, and the doctors were not to mess with that under any circumstance.

As it happened, the surgery did not go as smoothly as planned. At one point my aunt’s heart stopped beating. She says she saw a light and heard a voice that told her, “You’re not ready.” Then her heart restarted. She attributed this miraculous recovery to the power of Mary’s prayers and the scapular. I was pretty impressed.

There are several different scapulars, but the most common is the brown scapular. According to tradition, the brown scapular was given by Our Lady (i.e. Mary) to St. Simon of Stock in 1251. Mary said to him: "Take this Scapular. Whosoever dies wearing it shall not suffer eternal fire. It shall be a sign of salvation, a protection in danger and pledge of peace." This is not magic; there are conditions on wearing the scapular, including living pure according to your state of life and saying the rosary every day. However, Mary’s prayers for those who wear the scapular have been very powerful over the centuries.

Wearing a Miraculous Medal

In 1830, the Blessed Mother appeared to St. Catherine Labouré, standing on a globe with rays of light pouring out from her finger tips. She told St. Catherine, “These rays are a symbol of the graces that I pour out on those who ask them of me.” Then the words, “O Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!” surrounded Our Lady. She spoke again: “Have a medal made according to this model. For those who wear it with confidence, there will be abundant graces.”

At first the medal was known as the Medal of Our Lady of Grace. However, miraculous cures and conversions began being reported by those who wore the medal and not just a few but dozens, even hundreds. Mary was serious about her promise to pray for those who wore this medal. For this reason saints like Mother Teresa and St. Maximilian Kolbe used to hand the medal out to everyone they met. Mother Teresa used to say, “When you need prayers, simply kiss the medal and say, ‘Mary Mother, be a mother to me now.’” At the foot of the cross, Jesus gave His mother to us as our adoptive mother; this medal is a sign of her motherly love and her promise to pray for her children. Turn to her when you need help and trust that, like at the wedding feast at Cana, Jesus will not refuse a request from His mother.

Prayer to your guardian angel

We have another special guardian besides Mary. Angels guarded the house of Mary and Joseph the night Jesus was born. Turning to them for their protection was surely part of the life of their family. God loves us with an immense love, so much so that He assigned an angel to each and every one of us to guard us throughout our lives. When you need help, turn to your guardian angel and ask for his prayers and protection. A classic prayer is the following:

Angel of God,
my guardian dear,
To whom God's love
commits me here,
Ever this day,
be at my side,
To light and guard,
Rule and guide.
Amen.


Love God with Your Whole Heart

Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone! Therefore, you shall love the Lord, your God, with your whole heart, and with your whole being, and with your whole strength. Take to heart these words which I command you today. Keep repeating them to your children. Recite them when you are at home and when you are away.

– Deuteronomy 6:4-9

Jesus said that the greatest commandment was this: to love God with your whole heart. Surely whatever else Joseph and Mary tried to teach Jesus, love of God was at the center of it. In the following sections, I have tried to provide practical tips for how to teach your family to love God with their whole heart. First and foremost you must bring them to His love in the sacraments.


The Eucharist

In the tabernacle of every Church, Jesus Christ Himself waits for us. That’s meant literally: at the moment the priest pronounces the words, “This is my body” in the Mass, what once was bread ceases to be bread at all and becomes 100% the body, blood, soul and divinity of Jesus Christ. It is Jesus standing right in front of us, just in a very humble disguise.

Why has He taken on such a humble form? So that we can approach Him, speak to Him, spend time with Him and so that He can pour His love out on us. If we’re going to put God at the heart of our homes, then going to Mass and making visits to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament has to be part of our family life. Introduce your children to Him when you go to church. Go to Him in adoration or in the tabernacle when you need help. Go to Him when times are good too, the bottom line is to just spend time with Him. He loves your family more than anyone else can and He’s just waiting for you to come to Him.

One practice you can teach your children (and practice yourself) in order to grow in reverence for the Blessed Sacrament is to bless yourself every time you pass a building where you know the Blessed Sacrament is kept (such as a church or a chapel.) This can be powerful. We pass churches all the time in our everyday lives, and making the sign of the cross is a small sign of love for Jesus and a way of inviting Him into our day to day life.

Confession

As stated above, Jesus loves us more than anyone else ever will and that means He loves us too much to allow us to remain the way we are. Sin saddens Jesus because He made us for greater things than that and those sins lead us away from Him and His love. However, Jesus never gives up on us. He’s always waiting for you to come back to Him so He can offer you a new start through the sacrament of confession.

Make confession a part of your regular routine as a family. The Church requires that we confess at least once a year at Easter time, but there are probably things weighing on your conscience throughout the year. Confessions are offered every Saturday before the 4:00 Mass. Make a regular habit of taking your family to confession once a month, so that all of you have a chance to begin again with God and resolve again to strive to live the way He has asked us. The longer we let confession go, the harder those sinful habits are to break, and it is sin in the end that does the most damage to our families. Go to Him, run to His mercy: He is just waiting for you to return to His love.

“When You Lie Down and When You Get Up”
Dedicating Your Day to God

Loving God with our whole heart means loving Him not just on Sunday but throughout your day, every day. This can sound overwhelming at first, but there are some basic Catholic practices that you can teach your family that will help them bring God into the ordinary moments of their lives.

Morning prayers

As a popular joke has it, there are two kinds of people in the world. Those who wake up and say, “Good morning, God!” and those who say, “Good God, morning…” Regardless of your feelings on the morning hours, it’s helpful to begin your day at least with a short prayer to remind you that your whole day belongs to God. It can be as simple as reciting an Our Father or a Glory Be. Another prayer that can be said is the morning offering, in which we offer our whole day to God. A sample one is below:

O Jesus, through the Immaculate Heart of Mary, I offer You my prayers, works, joys and sufferings of this day for all the intentions of Your Sacred Heart, in union with the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass throughout the world, in reparation for my sins, for the intentions of all my relatives and friends, and in particular for the intentions of the Holy Father.
Amen.

If time allows, morning is a great time to pray with a devotional or the daily Mass readings. So many resources are available.

Relying on God’s grace through the day

Throughout the day, make a point to turn to God in moments where you need help. If you have a test coming up, ask for God’s grace to let it accurately reflect the knowledge you possess. If you’re having a bad day, ask for God’s grace to get you through it. If you need guidance, say a quick prayer and ask God to show you the way forward. Remember, that He is ready and willing to help you. You only need to ask. This can be as simple as a quick “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, pray for me.”

Also remember to keep your morning offering in mind throughout the day. Your day belongs to Him. Strive to live as He’s asked you to, to love as He loves, and to offer up whatever crosses might come your way.

Grace before meals

This is one of the most common prayers. When we say the Our Father, we ask Him to give us our daily bread, and the fact that we are able to sit down to a meal is proof that God in His goodness has provided for us. It’s important to take a moment to thank Him for this gift.

Bless us, O Lord, and these Thy gifts, which we are about to receive from Thy bounty. Through Christ our Lord.
Amen.

Prayer when you hear sirens

When you hear sirens, whether it be a police cruiser, a firetruck, or an ambulance, you know someone is in trouble. As Christians, we’re asked to pray for the living and the dead. It can be just a simple sign of the cross, or perhaps a Hail Mary, but a quick prayer for whoever is in need is a good habit to form.

Prayer before bed

At the end of the day, take a moment to review your day and thank God for all the gifts He’s given you. Take a moment to review any sins you may have committed; ask for His forgiveness and resolve to live differently the next day. Finally, ask His protection on you that night. You may close with any prayer you like, but this is a popular one:

Now I lay me down to sleep.
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake,
I pray to God my soul to take.
If I should live for other days,
I pray the Lord to guide my ways.

Amen.

Prayer for deceased relatives in purgatory

Care for your family involves more than just care for them on this earth: it involves our deceased relatives as well. Our relatives in purgatory still need our love and our prayers. Frankly, we still need theirs too, and after they pass through purgatory and get to heaven, they can pray for and intercede for us. Love does not end with death.

There are a few practices we can take on as families to care for our loved ones who have died. Of course attending funerals and having Masses said for the deceased are very important, but there are other day to day practices that simply become part of our daily routine. Some families after saying grace will add a short prayer:

May the divine assistance be always with us and may the souls of the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace.

There are other prayers that can be said at any time of day. This is one of the most common:

Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord. And let the perpetual light shine upon them. And may the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.

It’s also good to make a habit of visiting the cemetery and praying at the graves of relatives regularly. When I was a kid, I got to know where the family plots were by going with my grandfather to water the flowers once a week. I still go to visit those graves and offer my prayers for them and ask them to pray for me too.

“Write Them on Your Doorposts”
Dedicating Your Home to God

A few months before my grandfather passed away, I got a call from my father asking me to stop over to check on my grandfather. My great uncle (who is a Catholic priest) had arrived there before me. Gramp had fallen on the floor and Fr. Harold was there anointing him when I got in. Seeing the situation, I called an ambulance.

When the EMT’s arrived, it struck me for the first time how obviously Catholic my grandfather’s home was. It wasn’t just that there were two men dressed in Roman collars in the house. There was a statue of the Infant of Prague that he had knocked over on his way down, lying next to my grandfather. There were pictures of the Blessed Mother and crucifixes scattered around the house. When we went to grab my grandfather’s pills, his rosaries were sitting right next to them. I had grown up with this and so had never paid attention before, but this was unmistakably a Catholic household.

These things are more than just decorative pieces. They’re part of making sure one of the most important aspects of our life (our home life) is dedicated to God. Here I will discuss a few of these practices and what the idea behind them is.

House blessings

A common Catholic practice is to ask a priest to bless your home. In that blessing he will ask God’s blessing upon all who dwell in your house. If you would like your house blessed, feel free to call the office and a priest would be happy to make an appointment with you to do so.

Crucifixes above the doorway

When the Israelites were preparing to escape from Egypt, God ordered them to slaughter an unblemished lamb and paint the doorways of their homes with its blood. When the angel of death came by to strike down the first born in every household, it would see the blood and Passover that home.

This event was a mere foreshadowing of a much bigger one, in which Christ, the unblemished paschal lamb, was sacrificed for the sins of all humanity, for all time. Thus Catholics mark the doorways of their homes not with the actual blood of a lamb but with crucifixes reminding us of the shedding of the blood of Jesus, the Lamb of God. Like the Israelites, the sign of His blood marks our homes as belonging to God. It is a reminder to us and to all who enter our homes that this home belongs to Him.

Enthronement of the Sacred Heart

In the year 1673, Jesus appeared to St. Margaret Mary Alacqoue and revealed an image of His heart to her, burning with love for us. Among other things, Jesus promised to establish peace in the families of those who honor His Sacred Heart. For this reason, many Catholic families “enthrone” an image of the Sacred Heart in their homes. It is a way to remind them to place God’s love at the center of their lives, especially their home life. There is a formal process of enthronement that can be found through a simple google search, but even just displaying an image of the Sacred Heart in your home can have a powerful impact on your family life.

Holy Water Fonts

The power of holy water comes from its use in baptism. Through water, original sin itself is washed away. It is used to drive away evil, to bless things, and remind us of our own baptism, of Christ’s claim on our lives. (My grandfather even tells about his grandmother sprinkling the house with holy water during thunder storms.) Putting up a holy water font at the entrance to your house encourages those who enter to do so with God’s grace. What could be better for a family home?

Consecration to the Holy Family

In the end, the choice is yours: God wants to take up residence in your hearts and in your homes. He wants to bless your family with every happiness and joy. He wants you to live for the great things He created you and your children for. Promise yourself and promise God that the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph will be your model and your guides. You can say the following consecration prayer, and I would encourage you to renew that prayer regularly (perhaps every year on the feast of the Holy Family.) It will remind you of the standard that God is calling all of you to and why you chose that standard in the first place.

May God bless your homes abundantly!


Prayer:

O Lord Jesus, you lived in the home of Mary and Joseph in Nazareth. There you grew in age, wisdom and grace as you prepared to fulfill your mission as our Redeemer. We entrust our family to you.

O Blessed Mary, you are the Mother of our Savior. At Nazareth you cared for Jesus and nurtured him in the peace and joy of your home. We entrust our family to you.

O Saint Joseph, you provided a secure and loving home for Jesus and Mary, and gave us a model of fatherhood while showing us the dignity of work. We entrust our family to you.

Holy Family, we consecrate ourselves and our family to you. May we be completely united in a love that is lasting, faithful and open to the gift of new life. Help us to grow in virtue, to forgive one another from our hearts, and to live in peace all our days. Keep us strong in faith, persevering in prayer, diligent in our work, and generous toward those in need.

May our home, O Holy Family, truly become a domestic church where we reflect your example in our daily life. Amen.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph, pray for us!